


The Fox and the Crow

by runningfromrealitytoanime



Series: Random Haikyuu aus [7]
Category: Given (Anime), Haikyuu!!
Genre: Humming a song, M/M, atsumu is mafuyu, black jackals are a band, forgive me for killing someone off, hinata is in inarizaki, i totally ship AtsuSaku, inspired by Given, twitter inspiration, volleyball idiots in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-10
Updated: 2020-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:00:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23098243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/runningfromrealitytoanime/pseuds/runningfromrealitytoanime
Summary: Miya Atsumu never thought he would be able to recover from his loss. With a red guitar slung across his back as he wandered through life, he is pulled into the fold of a band by the sound of a boy strumming the strings of his heart as one once did with volleyball.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Miya Atsumu, Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Series: Random Haikyuu aus [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1634083
Comments: 16
Kudos: 182





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I am a major fan of AtsuSaku and dammit, after seeing a picture of them inspired from the kiss scene from Given between Mafuyu and Uenoyama, I just had to try my luck and write about them.
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy this, considering I suck at descriptions and may probably have left some plotholes in this story so bear with me! Also its nighttime and I have to work tomorrow so yay to that.

The sight of the lights shining above their heads threatened to blind Atsumu as he took in a deep breath. His heart was surprisingly calm against his chest; his ears clear from any blood roaring through his ears. Despite what lay beyond him, the potential disaster that he might witness; he felt very calm.

Bokuto clapped a hand on his shoulder, a smirk on his face as he made the final adjustments to his guitar. Atsumu turned to look at his own, the red Gibson shining in the light as the memories of a certain orange headed boy whose smile lighted up his world haunted his memories. He wanted to squeeze his eyes shut, wishing he could disappear from it all when a sullen voice spoke to him, the voice clear without being hindered by the mask.

The stage is the only place he would let the mask go, just for a few minutes before pulling it back on.

Dark eyes looked up at him, eyes that made Atsumu wonder why he had even fallen for this boy in the first place. Why he had joined something he thought he never would have when he had everything taken away from him, only for him to step into the world that took his love away.

Kiyomi Sakusa was the answer to that.

“Alright, boys! Let’s give them a song of a lifetime!” Bokuto grinned as he pumped his fist into the air. Akaashi, their drummer merely nodded as he twirled his drumsticks in his fingers, nimble as he poised them above the drums. Atsumu turned to look at Sakusa for anything that would tell him that he would be alright in this, the only thing meeting him were eyes that firmly told him to get to work.

“You wound me, Omi-kun,” Atsumu murmured to himself as the screen began to lift up, the sounds of cheers and whistles filling the air as the crowd appeared before their eyes. The sound hit Atsumu as he nearly staggered back, the sight of people looking at him making him feel dizzy. How long had it been since he had seen so many people gathered in one place?

As he looked above the sea of heads, he could almost imagine a certain orange-haired boy standing at the back of the room, a small smile on his face as Atsumu tried to choke back the tears.

There was the sound of wood striking one another, the band going in full swing as Akaashi hit the drums. Bokuto let out a whoop as he began to strum on his guitar, Sakusa doing the same as Atsumu let the music wash over him.

He never intended to sing. He never thought he would be able to find the words to say them.

But now he has.

As he brought his lips to the mic, he felt a torrent of emotions bursting out through his heart, the words pouring out of his lips as the crowd was stunned into silence.

Just like the shade of snow  
That hasn't completely melted  
I continue on with these feelings inside me  
Hey, with what words  
Should I close the door on this love?

Love. It has been so long since he felt it.

How could something that people portrayed to be the most important thing in the world bring so much pain to his heart?

_“Atsumu, I will always be with you, you know that right?”_

Orange hair filled his vision, a bubbly laugh ringing through his ears as his hands found their way across a smaller body. The other boy laughed as he pecked him on the lips, breathing in the scent of volleyball and Hinata Shouyou into him.

_“Baka,”_ Atsumu whispered in his mind as he felt his mind drifting beyond the live house to the past that he had wished he could forget.

Once upon a time, he had been a volleyball player striving to reach the world stage. He had made it to that stage, having been chosen to go to the All Japan Youth Camp and training to be the strongest player in Japan. He thought he would be able to stand tall without anyone standing in his path, until he meet Hinata Shouyou on the court.

A certain player shone a light through his life, showing him that there was more than just being a volleyball player standing alone on the court. The shear will of wanting to fly higher than anyone else, of wanting to receive sets from him, those were all the thoughts radiating through Hinata Shouyou. Atsumu felt himself getting drawn into his light and by some sheer chance, Hinata transferred to Inarizaki High School and finally allowed him to set to him.

That also set into motion a series of feelings Atsumu had tried so hard to bury. He didn’t have time for love or distractions in his life, but Hinata wormed his way into his life with volleyball and into his heart.

They played together. They went out together. They did everything together.

They were volleyball idiots in love.

Despite there being about a head’s worth of height difference and them only having known each other for a few months, Atsumu found himself falling for Hinata to the point he could barely concentrate on the court. Whenever Hinata yelled, he would search for the sound of his voice, hoping that it was to call a set to him, praying that he would be able to continue hearing that beautiful voice on the court forever.

During his final year of the Spring Tournament, Inarizaki was in the finals against Karasuno. They were playing very well, winning the final set as the crowd cheered in the background. Atsumu had never felt more alive at that moment than ever before, having had received enough kisses and hugs from his love before the game and the reassurance that this was their ticket to be part of the Olympic team.

The ball had gone to the other side after a particularly good spike by Hinata. The ball was sailing through the air, only to be received by their libero as it went up to Kageyama Tobio. Atsumu always hated how that guy was much better at setting than he was and that he never seemed to care about anything else in the world as the ball rose in the air for their ace to spike, Atsumu’s legs carrying him to block it when he saw that no one was nearby.

As he rose to meet the ball, he almost felt someone coming in from the side as he blocked, the ball hitting his fingers hard enough to make his eyes water when a body collided next to his. He couldn’t stop himself as he slowly tilted to the side, pushing the person next to him to the ground just as a sickening crunch sounded in the air, followed by a howl.

“Shouyou!” Kita yelled as he ran over, the rest of the team following suit as the cheers in the hall died out in a flash. Atsumu couldn’t breath as he slowly turned to see Hinata on the ground, groaning in pain as he clutched a swelling knee. The joint was red and already starting to turn purple as Kita shouted for a medic, Suna making sure Hinata was breathing right as their coach ran over to inspect him. Karasuno stared in horror as the small spiker was hauled onto a stretcher and brought out of the hall.  
  


Your everything has lost its tomorrow  
And now is wandering around eternally  
Along with me  
Who was unable to say goodbye or move on

The court felt too empty without Hinata on it.

Every time he called out for him to receive his tosses, there was no one there.

Even as everyone told him it wasn’t his fault that their star spiker would never be able to play volleyball again, Atsumu couldn’t help but feel it was all his fault.

“Come on, Tsumu. Don’t look so sad about it! It wasn’t your fault. I’m still alive, right?” Hinata chirped as he sat across from Atsumu during lunch. While both of them were in different classes, Hinata would always come in during luncbreaks and try to get Atsumu to go and eat with the team. Atsumu had always just stayed with Hinata, feeling contented with him being around all this time.

“Don’t wanna. I don’t need anyone else,” he whispered as Hinata groaned.

“Come on, you need to just lighten up! I might be able to play again once I get the surgery done on my knee so I will be back in no time!” Hinata grinned as he picked up Atsumu’s hand to give it a gentle kiss, a blush dusting his cheeks. Atsumu whispered, his voice choking as he threatened to cry for the 100th time that single week.

“I’m so sorry, Shouyou.”

Weeks went by and Hinata would come to practices, cheering them on and making sure to give Atsumu the kick he needs to get his head into the game, even if it means kissing him in front of the entire team. Osamu would always yell at them to get a room while Suna and Kita groaned at how open they were about their relationship but those two didn’t care.

Since he couldn’t play volleyball for a while, Hinata found a rather interesting hobby in music. Although Atsumu had to say his music was making his ears bleed.

“Oni-chan! Please stop playing music or I’m seriously going to die!” Natsu wailed, her head poking through the door with her hands clasped on her ears as Atsumu nodded his head, “For once, I agree with her, Shouyou.”

Atsumu had come over for the weekend when Hinata told him he was going to play the guitar for him. While he thought his boyfriend was really cute, he was starting to wish he picked up something that didn’t involved making him go permanently deaf.

“But this is a love song I wrote for you!” Hinata whined, puffing his cheeks. He was seated on the bed with Atsumu pressing against the wall in an attempt to get away from the screeching noise coming out from his guitar.

Natsu stuck a tongue at him, “You’re going to kill Tsumu Tsumu nichan before you actually get to marry him!”

Both boys were left dumbstruck as the orange-haired girl barreled off into her room, slamming the door behind her before turning to one another and laughing.

“I swear that she is the cutest thing in the world. I would have dated her if I hadn’t fallen for you already,” Atsumu snickered as Hinata pouted, “I’m way cuter though, am I?”

Atsumu couldn’t help but pull him into a kiss, letting him sink into him as their knees knocked together. Hinata smirked as he pulled him on top of him, his guitar clattering to the ground as Atsumu tried not to reach into his pants.

“Come on, Hinata. You’re going to break the damn thing you spent a fortune on,” Atsumu murmured as Hinata grinned, “Well, I have you here so that’s worth it.”

That was the last time he ever kissed him again.

On the way to the hospital for his check up, Hinata had been walking with Natsu across the road when a truck swerved out of control, its brakes not working as the driver screamed for them to get out of the way. Natsu had stood frozen on the spot, unable to move until her older brother shoved her out of the way, only to be hit. No matter how much Natsu had screamed for help, despite the hospital being a few metres away from them, Hinata didn’t survive the impact.

As Atsumu sat in front of the coffin, dressed in black and trying not to let the tears come out, the same mantra played out over and over in his mind as he looked at the face of his boyfriend now frozen as a 16 year old forever. He never did managed to tell him how much he loved him, and how much he regretted ever making him spike the ball for him.

If he hadn’t met Hinata on the court, maybe he wouldn’t have transferred to Inarizaki.

If he hadn’t fell in love with him, he wouldn’t have tried so hard to toss to him.

If he hadn’t tossed that day, Hinata may still be alright.

If he hadn’t made Hinata run for the ball, he would have never gone to the hospital for the check up that got him killed.

He killed Hinata Shouyou.

It was his fault.

It was all his fault.

_Shouyou, forgive me._  
  


  
Just like a spell that still won't break  
Or some kind of curse  
I'm still holding on to some heavy baggage  
Hey, what kind of tomorrow  
Am I supposed to look for in this town?  
Ah...  
  


Atsumu couldn’t get himself to have the will to stay alive.

After Hinata died, he had quit volleyball and locked himself up in his room, unable to face the reality that his boyfriend was no longer in this world. He would stare at the ceiling, counting the number of times he had managed to say “I love you” to Hinata until he would sob from the reality he can never say it to him again. Even as he tried to cry himself to sleep, he would only be plagued by Hinata smiling at him from afar, never once faltering as Atsumu tried to reach for him.

His parents begged for him to eat and go to school. Osamu left him be after trying unsuccessfully to tell him that it wasn’t his fault. Even when the team visited, Atsumu couldn’t find the will to bring himself back to practice.

After a rushed decision, he transferred schools, unable to stay in the same place he had fallen for Hinata and played volleyball at.

In his new school, he avoided his classmates, sitting in the corner of the classroom staring out of the window during class. He didn’t pay much attention to what was going on since he hated studying anyways and no didn’t have a purpose to continue with life. Whenever the teacher spoke to the class, Atsumu would have his eyes fixed on the gates, imagining what it would be like if Hinata was standing outside, yelling at him to toss a ball to him.

The one thing that kept him company was Hinata’s guitar, always slung across his back as he walked from place to place. Hinata’s mother had given it to him as Natsu was still traumatised by the accident and anything that belonged to her brother would make her break into tears so she thought it would be better for him to have it. He couldn’t help but feel the guilt of not going with Hinata to the hospital that day because he had decided to sleep in for the day, his mind screaming at him that it was all his fault that Hinata died.

One day, he was walking to the toilet when he slammed into a wall of muscle. Atsumu was about to shout at the person who had walked into him (he would never admit he walked into someone) as the person, a third-year with spiky hair like an owl gaped, “Aha! I found him!” His eyes were fixed on the guitar behind him, which Atsumu wondered why he had even brought it to the toilet with him in the first place.

“Huh?” Atsumu growled as another boy emerged from behind him, looking unimpressed at what was happening in front of him. Atsumu would have fallen head over heels for him if he wasn’t still in mourning over Hinata.

“Bokuto-san, don’t go grabbing people who want to use the toilet.”

“Akaashi!!! He’s what we need for the band! A good looking guy who can charm the ladies is what we need! Say say, do you play any musical instruments by any chance?” Bokuto, the wild-haired guy grinned as Atsumu rolled his eyes.

“No.”

“Come on! At least try it out once! We’ve got a studio rented today, you can totally come over and crash our practice! I’m such Kiyomi wouldn’t mind about it.”

The next thing he knew, he was being dragged to a music studio on the other side of town, wishing he could just run away and hide under the blankets at home. Bokuto had been very insistent in getting him into the band since their last member upped and left them when they had a gig coming up in a couple of weeks. Akaashi, the black haired boy seemed like he had seen worse than boys getting dragged against their wills to a studio and had no more energy to tell his senior off when a dull rhythm began to fill the corridor.

“Ohh, Kiyomi must be here already,” Bokuto grinned as he led them down a corridor filled with posters of bands and singers pasted hapzardly along the wall. Atsumu wrinkled his nose at the smell of cigarettes that hung in the air, wishing he could just leave when Bokuto opened the door and a wave of music washed over him.

The boy playing within didn’t seem to have noticed them entering, his fingers flying across the strings as he played. His eyes were fixed on the strings, his fingers moving so fast that Atsumu’s eyes could barely catch up. Most of all, the thing that sparked an interest in Atsumu was the fact the guy was wearing a face mask.

“Kiyomi! We brought a guest!” Bokuto called out as Akaashi bowed behind him. Sakusa stopped mid-song and turned to look at them, his hand moving to pull down his mask to wipe down his sweat when Atsumu’s heart throbbed.

Kiyomi Sakusa was pretty much a dark knight, with his curly hair sticking to the back of his neck and his eyes narrowed to slits as he eyed Atsumu like he was a piece of trash.

“Did he clean himself before he came in?” Sakusa asked as Atsumu snapped, “Hey, I showered this morning!”

“And that was about 8 hours ago? Plenty of time to catch germs from the environment. Just thinking about it makes my skin crawl… Bokuto-san, why did you bring this vermin here…”

“Vermin????” Atsumu growled when Bokuto clapped a hand on his shoulder, “Now now. Kiyomi may seem a little hostile but he’s actually a really nice guy. He writes most of our songs actually.”

Slowly, the guys moved to their places, Akaashi moving to say something to Sakusa as Bokuto removed the guitar slung across his back, removing the sleek instrument from its casing as he plugged it into the amplifier in the corner. Akaashi made himself comfortable behind the drums, twirling his drumsticks in his fingers as Kiyomi pulled his mask back on with a sigh.

“Miya Atsumu, may I present the Black Jackals!” Bokuto grinned as Sakusa began playing, his music rocking Atsumu to the core as Bokuto and Akaashi joined in. Akaashi hadn’t looked like an energetic guy but behind the drums, he was now alive as he drummed away. Bokuto grinned as he played the bass, his fingers plucking away at the strings as Sakusa brought up the rear. Atsumu couldn’t take his eyes off him as he watched him play, his body swaying to the beat and sweat breaking across his skin, flying into the air in droplets as he lifted his head.

He might actually be able to handle this shit.

  
  
The cold tears that fall  
Freeze under the sky  
They pretend to be kind  
And around the time, they fall down my face  
Two people who were always together are torn apart  
That's all there is to this story

“You own a really expensive and good guitar but you don’t know how to play shit. Dumbass,” Sakusa murmured as Atsumu tried not to throw a punch at his face. He took back everything he thought that made Sakusa cute; he was an asshole through and through who had an absurb phobia of germs.

Despite all the insults and bickering he had with Sakusa, he couldn’t help but keep returning to the studio to hear more of their music. He soon learned that he sucked at playing the guitar and with Sakusa being the best but not wanting to put his hands on anything when he had no idea on where they had been, Bokuto being a very bad teacher and Akaashi not knowing how to play the guitar; essentially, Atsumu was screwed for the gig.

“Just because I have a guitar, doesn’t mean I know how to play dammit! Omi omi, can’t you have a bit of mercy on me? I mean, I’m the one who is going to suffer for this gig since I would be standing there not know what the hell to do!” Atsumu whined as Sakusa seemed to edge away a few metres from him to avoid his spit.

“Unless you can sing, you might be able to save your sorry butt,” Sakusa growled as Atsumu pouted, racking his brain to find something to come back at Kiyomi when a certain voice began to hum in his mind. Atsumu’s heart slowed down a moment as the voice rang clear in his mind, the humming melody somehow transferring to his tongue as he began to hum the very same song. Kiyomi looked at him, his eyes wide as Atsumu hummed, his voice echoing across the empty studio before finally coming to a stop.

_“Hey, what's that weird song you’re humming, Shouyou?” Atsumu grinned as he wound his fingers through Hinata’s hair. The other boy was lying beside him on his bed, eyes closed as he held onto his body. Both of them were relaxing on their day off volleyball, just enjoying each other’s presence off the court._

_“What do you mean its weird? It just came to my mind, dummy!” Hinata pouted as Atsumu chuckled, “Whatever you say.”_

When Atsumu finished singing, he opened his mouth to make a snarky remark at Sakusa when he realized that the other boy had his mouth hanging open. Atsumu then realized that Bokuto and Akaashi had been standing at the door that entire time, both of them with slack jaws until Kiyomi finally found his voice.

“What the hell was that?”

Long story short, they found out Atsumu could sing and in a few days, Sakusa had written up an entirely new song for him from scratch based on the melody he had hummed and asked him to write lyrics for it. This was all beyond Atsumu and the boy was ready to throw the towel since he had no idea on what to do about song lyrics. Even during their rehearsal, he had been unable to croak any lyrics out and nearly got into a brawl with Sakusa if Akaashi hadn’t pulled them apart.

But now, thinking back about how Hinata had been the centre of his life and his heartaches and meeting these new guys, Atsumu finally found the words he wanted to say.

_No matter where he went, he would always remember Hinata._

_His scent in the train, his presence when he walked past the grocery store they always went to get ice cream._

_His heart clenching at the sound of shoes squeaking against polished floorboards, the familiar terms and spikes filling the air in the gym as people played volleyball, oblivious of the missing player that once lighted that world._

_He would never forgive Hinata for leaving him._

_He would never forgive himself for losing Hinata._

_Despite all the pain in his heart, he wished he could just wrap him up in his arms and beg for forgiveness as he forgave him for leaving him behind._

_“Hinata Shouyou, I miss you so much. I’m lonely. So. So. Lonely.”_

Even if your everything loses its shape one day  
You'll always be here within me  
As I try to move forward again, even though I couldn't say goodbye  
You'll always be here with me

Hinata Shouyou was here with him.

He was present in this very room, cheering him on as he once did on the court.

As Atsumu looked past the lights and sweat coating his eyes, he could see his former love smiling at him, showing the same grin he always had when he was on the court when he came in for a high five.

“Have fun, Atsumu.”

Atsumu couldn’t even process the thoughts in his head anymore, tears flowing through his eyes as he finished the song, his voice dying in his throat as they played the final notes to the song. As the music died down, Atsumu felt all the energy drain from his body, his fingers slipping from the guitar as his knees buckled when an arm reached to grab him.

Atsumu looked up through heavy-lidded eyes, his mind dizzy from earlier as Kiyomi slowly brought him to his feet and slung an arm across his shoulder to help him off the stage. Bokuto was gawking at them, shocked that Kiyomi was even touching someone when he was covered in sweat as Akaashi whispered to him to distract the crowd.

“Aha! Thanks for coming folks! Sorry but I think our vocalist had one heck of a song and isn’t feeling great at the moment. Oh, right and this is our new song sung by Atsumu Miya and composed by Kiyomi Sakusa, The Fox and the Crow!” Bokuto roared as the crowd clapped and whistled. As they descended the stairs, the voice began to drown out as Sakusa removed his arm from around Atsumu’s neck only for Atsumu to grab onto his shirt.

He didn’t care if he got slapped by him for touching him.

He need to hold onto him.

“Thank you, for everything you done. For all the shit you put me through, I’m glad I actually met you idiots.”

Somewhere along the way, with all the teasing and prodding at Sakusa to drive him up the wall, Atsumu had fallen hard for him.

For the music he had created, for the way he always treated him like vermin, for the gentle way he desperately tried to teach him the guitar only to fail miserably.

“Thank you…” Atsumu whispered when Sakusa closed in the space between them. Atsumu’s heart nearly stopped as Sakusa gave him the kiss, as brief and shocking at it was before he moved to cup his cheeks in his hands.

“You did well out there,” he whispered as Atsumu stared at him. Sakusa didn’t say anything, his face still red as he walked back to the stage, leaving Atsumu to gather what had just happened as he collapsed on the stairs, his legs finally giving way as he took a breath he hadn’t realize he had been holding.

“Shouyou, you wouldn’t mind me loving someone else, will you?” Atsumu whispered as he felt arms moving around his shoulders, holding onto him as the ghost of a voice tickled his ear.

“He’s cute. Go for it, Atsumu. You deserve more happiness than you think.”

Slowly, Atsumu broke down into tears as he cried out, wishing he could turn back the clock to when Shouyou was alive. Even though he missed him so much, he was glad that at long last, he can finally moved on from his wounds and into a new future with the Black Jackals.  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakusa Kiyomi hates germs with a passion, which was why he was surprised when he wanted to touch Miya Atsumu so badly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After seeing so may kudos and interest in this story, I thought I ought to write it from Sakusa's POV. To be honest, some bits of it changed as I was writing it and after about a 12 hour delay due to work, I finally managed to finish this and its ready to go. Thanks so much for all of you who supported this story, it really makes me so happy that you all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
> 
> Shoutout to @onniegiri aka Zean from Twitter who drew the beautiful iconic scene from Given of Mafuyu and Uenoyama kissing after the live that inspired this story. Absolutely fell in love with her drawing of it and had to do something about it before my mind went mad.
> 
> Here is the chapter and enjoy!
> 
> I don't own the characters.

Sakusa Kiyomi hated the idea of touch.

Having to touch the surface of a table someone might have potentially vomited on or drooled on in classes, having to be in the same classroom for hours on end with people sneezing and coughing throughout the day, it made school an absolutely hellhole.

Which was why he was surprised he even picked up playing the guitar.

When his father had given it to him as a way of trying to combat his mysophobia via exposure therapy, Sakusa had taken it into his hands with thoughts of how his father might have handled things that would have potentially contaminated it in the past. However, when his father showed him how to play a chord, all of his fears were swept away when the sound filled his ears, his mind now filled with the echo of the chord as he continued to play.

He needed to find more of this. He needed to know more about music.

Sakusa had always been on the angsty side of things and that showed in his playing as well. While his parents would have preferred if he kept his wailing music to a minimum, they didn’t stop him since that was basically the only thing that allowed him to interact with other human beings on a normal basis. Since he began to play the guitar, Sakusa opened up ever so slightly to the music community he became part of and as time went past, his skills began to grow.

Whenever he pressed his fingers to the strings, his fingertips rough and callused from having played the guitar countless times, he felt his blood roar as he played. He would let it wash over him, drowning out any thoughts he had of germs and potentially getting ill, letting himself breath in the air that may not be as clean without the help of his mask.

On the stage, in the music studio, he felt free from it all.

As time went by, Sakusa began to feel the adrenaline rush of playing music die within him. Even though he was playing better than he ever did, he couldn’t quite find the strum of the heartstrings he had when he first played it, the distracting sound of the music tearing himself from the world hitting the right notes in his heart. He tried to change his style, trying out different kind of music and bands when his band decided to up and leave him.

They couldn’t stand how he would always ask them to clean their picks and guitars, going as far to wiping down the drums that were for rent every time they went to practice. His bandmates would complain about how the place reeked of alcohol and how they thought it was stupid that he refused to even teach someone how to play the guitar without giving the guitar a good clean, although he wouldn’t touch it in the end since he couldn’t clean the strings as much as he would liked.

Pulled away from his music and others, Sakusa would have spiralled into a world of misery and wondering if he hadn’t come across the boisterous Bokuto Koutarou, a senior in his high school who had begged him several times to join his band, the Black Jackals. Bokuto was someone he would never associate himself with under normal circumstances; he was way too noisy and his laugh made Sakusa squirm. While Sakusa had tried his best to avoid the other student for days, he finally caved in when Bokuto told him he wouldn’t be bothered about him being a clean freak and would even allow him to clean their equipment if that made him feel better about being in a clean environment. 

Sakusa thought it wouldn’t hurt if he at least had a place to go to to let loose his emotions.

Turns out that the Black Jackals consisted of just Bokuto and his best friend, a sullen pretty boy named Akaashi Keiji who was in the same year as Sakusa. While Bokuto had initially started the band because playing the bass would be cool without much of a game plan, turns out the guy had a natural talent at playing with a bit of knack for composing music. Akaashi had been dragged into this by Bokuto as the drummer and while they did initially had a guy named Terushima as their lead vocalist and guitarist, he had since upped and left when he scored himself a girlfriend, that left Sakusa with just the two of them. Sakusa didn’t sing very well so that left with the band moving towards being more instrumental.

Sakusa was surprised he found himself very much at home with the Black Jackals. Bokuto may be loud but he did care for his bandmates a lot, going as far to write down a list of dos and don’ts for Sakusa when it came to cleanliness while Akaashi was the sound member of the team, making sure both of them didn’t go at each other’s throats if there was a conflict in taste of music. While Sakusa liked angst, Bokuto was more of rock and roll but with the help of Akaashi, they finally managed to come to a compromise and even come up with a few songs that merged the two genres together.

Then Sakusa began to get bored again, until he saw Miya Atsumu.

It had been about a year since he joined the band when Bokuto came in with a guy squirming under his arm, begging to be released. While Sakusa had initially had the thoughts of him bringing a infinite amount of germs into the room, all thoughts were blown away when Atsumu looked up to stare at him, making his stomach churn at the sight of him.

Atsumu looked like a fallen angel from heaven. He had blond hair that seemed to be a bad dye job from the past, an irritable scowl on his face and the way he talked made Sakusa want to punch him. At the same time, looking at the long fingers trying to pry away Bokuto’s arm from his neck and failing miserably, Sakusa noticed how callused and scared they were, although they didn’t seem to have come from playing the guitar.

Maybe he might actually be able to deal with this.

“If you want to join the band, you will have to let me clean your guitar and make you shower every time before you enter the studio. I don’t want you carrying in your germs from the outside world into the studio and possibly make us all die from it,” he grunted, wishing he had his mask to protect him from whatever germs he may be exposed to when Atsumu growled.

“Eh?”

This was going to be a long band practice.

…

Turns out Miya Atsumu couldn’t play any chords for shit.

As Sakusa tried to desperately tell him how to play the chords without so much touching his instrument, he was beginning to wish Bokuto hadn’t brought the guy in on a whim because he happened to have a guitar slung across his back. Sakusa’s patience was wearing thin from the fact they had a gig in a couple of weeks and that their newest member couldn’t do shit was driving him mad.

“Omi-omi, can you at least teach me how to play the guitar? I will let you guide me, no probs,” Atsumu whined as Sakusa snarled.

“The hell I will. I don’t want to get contaminated by any of the germs you might have on you.”

“I showered two freaking times in the last hour and you’re telling me I am filthy?”

“Your mouth is just as filthy as your body so piss off, Miya.”

“Rude!”

Akaashi was watching them from the drums, sighing as he tried his best not to pull them apart when Sakusa groaned, “If you really want to, come half an hour before practice begins. I don’t want to waste my time teaching you when I can be practising.”

At his words, Atsumu’s eyes seemed to light up, sparkles cascading from the heavens above as Bokuto grinned from the corner.

“Oya oya, is that a one to one session you’re giving, Kiyomi? Sounds a little suspicious.”

Sakusa was glad he had his mask pulled up at that moment, hiding the slow creep of red across his face as he snapped that it was nothing and they better get back to work.

…

“Arghhh! I can’t get this right!” Atsumu wailed as Sakusa moved a few feet back to avoid getting smacked with sweat and Atsumu’s hands. He had come to realize that his hands were very sweaty and stank from a mile away.

Despite how disgusting they looked, he really needed to teach him how to play the guitar.

“Come here,” he growled as he snatched Atsumu’s hands and pressing them against the strings, trying his best not to flinch at the contact. As his fingers came into contact with the other boy’s skin, he could almost feel electric running through him, making his blood sing as he tried not to flinch away.

He always thought that Atsumu had hands as clammy as a corpse judging from how sweaty they got but now that he was touching them, they felt surprisingly soft and warm. Even with the calluses running along his skin, scars decorating his fingers, he felt so…

“What, you eying at my perfect hands?” Atsumu grinned as Sakusa sighed.

He was such a pain in the ass.

“Bring your fingers here and here. Make sure you hold onto them before trying to strum.”

“I’m trying! I’ve been doing that for ages but my fingers refused to stay put!”

“Then what do you want me to teach you then?” Sakusa pinched the bridge of his nose, exhaling as he tried not to die from thinking too hard when he muttered, “Can you sing?”

Atsumu bit the inside of his mouth as he hung his head for a moment, unsure of what to do as Sakusa prayed he hadn’t hit a home run in pissing the guy off or setting him into sad mode. One thing about Atsumu was while he was mostly snappy and hissy, he could also have low moods that took ages for the others to bring him out off and that pissed Sakusa off since he needed to practice instead of babysitting a whiny guy.

Even if the said guy looked cute.

“I dunno… I never really tried…”

“Unless you show you’re actually useful in the band, I might just ask Bokuto to kick you out.”

“Hey! I thought you needed a vocalist or guitarist!”

“Well, you can’t play shit on the guitar and with that voice of yours, you must be able to sing something right?”

Atsumu gulped as he closed his eyes, raking through his mind for a song, anything for that matter that wouldn’t make him sound like a frog when he suddenly opened his eyes. Sakusa thought he saw orange dancing in those dark irises, the ghost of a smile behind them as Atsumu sighed.

“I might know a song, but don’t laugh at me.”

Atsumu took a deep breath, sucking in before opening his mouth to hum a tune. Sakusa thought his voice would come out hoarser, maybe even something close to a screech but instead, he was met with a voice torn apart by grief and sorrow as Atsumu hummed.

“La la, lala. La la… lalala. La la la la. La la.. la la la. La la, la la. La la, lala. La la, la la, lala, lala.”

Agony. That was the feeling that resounded through Sakusa’s heart as he felt it slammed against his ribcage. It was the same feeling he had on the stage, playing the guitar as the crowd screamed his name. The air around him would be thick with sweat and smells that he wanted to block with his mask but instead, he felt the world opening up to him to give him a new sensation he always wanted to have.

“What the hell was that?” a voice croaked as the two boys looked up. Bokuto and Akaashi stood at the threshold, their eyes wide as Bokuto’s hand remained on the door with his other hand in mid-motion of swinging his guitar off his back. Even Akaashi looked stunned, his eyes fixed on Atsumu as Sakusa blurted out, “Will you sing for me?”

…

Sakusa Kiyomi never thought he would be writing a song for someone else.

He was always all about finding music that suited his feelings, tailoring them to suit his tune. He had composed music before and even released a few albums, but never once had be been so entranced by a humming melody that he was inspired to write something about it.

Atsumu’s voice lulled through his mind no matter what he did, when he was in class, at home trying to do work or even in the studio as they practiced. He didn’t have time to write a new song; heck, he didn’t even know if Atsumu would be stage ready by the time the gig rolls around but he couldn’t resist reaching for his pen and writing down the notes, tapping his pen to the beat as he tested it out on the guitar.

Somehow, deep inside of him, he wanted Atsumu to sing it to him.

When the other had hummed it, Sakusa could feel sorrow pouring through his mouth, masked behind a tough façade and sharp tongue that came to meet Sakusa whenever he tried to speak to him. The hidden emotion that bled through his voice made Sakusa want to dig deeper into his past, wanting to know what made the boy who he was when he decided to pay the internet a little visit.

Sakusa hated prying into other people’s business but he felt he needed to know more about Miya Atsumu before he could actually write a song for him. It didn’t take long for him to find out of his past as a volleyball player, a setter set on the path to become a Team Japan player, if it weren’t for an accident that took away the ability of his fellow teammate to play volleyball forever. While Sakusa had once thought of playing volleyball being a potential way to treat his mysophobia, the thought of having to touch a ball held by the hands of so many others and possibly colliding with bodies on the court made him want to hurl.

Miya Atsumu and Hinata Shouyou. The freak duo of the court; lovers off the court. There were rumours of the two players having dated for a while even though they were on the same team, a taboo most sports teams had of members dating one another. Sakusa knew this was also an ironclad rule of bands and he had never once gave another glance towards another human being to pay his full attention towards the guitar.

Sakusa felt more ashamed and guilty as he delved into Atsumu’s past, newspaper articles of a freak accident that took the life of Hinata about a year ago and how Atsumu had disappeared off the volleyball world scene. It was as though Atsumu had blamed himself for Hinata’s death and was punishing himself by separating himself from everything he loved; volleyball and friends. Sakusa had noticed more than once on how hissy Atsumu could be towards others or just not wanting to speak, always lost in his own head as he looked out at the school grounds. While Sakusa had pretended not to care about him, he felt himself getting drawn deeper and deeper into his life.

Why was he so fascinated by him?

Why was he creating a song that was potentially sung by a dead boy?

Why would he make something so that Atsumu would be able to sing for someone else?

He wanted to make him sing to his tune.

Sakusa Kiyomi will make sure that Miya Atsumu would sing for him.

One day, surely.

He would sing for him.

…

The music turned out brilliant, but Atsumu was spiraling away into the darkness as he heard the sound playing across the studio. While Bokuto had gaped at how it sounded and proceeded to try it on the guitar and Akaashi gave an approving nod, Atsumu had went pale before excusing himself to leave for the day. Sakusa thought he would have been pleased with it, but it turned out it may have triggered some emotions that were buried within the other boy.

He didn’t press on Atsumu creating any lyrics for the song, although he hoped he would since the song had been created as a way for him to channel his feelings. Atsumu seemed to be lost in his thoughts whenever the song was practised, his fingers barely able to move across the strings as he looked at the wall. Sakusa swore he even managed to catch the name “Shouyou” gracing his lips several times when they were playing and Atsumu wasn’t focusing on it at all.

“Atsumu, are you going to write any lyrics for this at all?” Sakusa asked when they were in the middle of a water break. Atsumu nearly choked on his drink as he turned to face him, his face flushed from practice as he snarled.

“I don’t even know how to play shit, Sakusa. Don’t expect me to write a song that may not even turn out right.”

Sakusa didn’t know why he did it, but he found himself reaching out to Atsumu to grab him by the collar of his shirt. He didn’t care if Atsumu was probably covered in germs since he always never bothered to change before coming in or the fact that the other boy looked like he wanted to run and hide in a hole. Bokuto reached out to pull them apart before being held back by Akaashi, who shook his head as Sakusa snapped.

“You have a lot of feelings bottled up inside of you. You need to let them out of you. I wrote this song because I was inspired by your tune, so please… sing something. If you do not want to sing for yourself…” he said as he gripped Atsumu’s shirt, “do it for me.”

…

Atsumu didn’t come up with any lyrics after all.

He even began to ditch practice and only showed up for the rehearsal at the live house, which didn’t help since he still couldn’t play and it made things more awkward having other bands watching them perform. Sakusa was a well-known face in live houses and to have his reputation dragged through the mud because Atsumu was being pissy didn’t help lift the stress of having to perform.

The boys lounged around the live house, waiting for the real show to begin in the corner. Bokuto was chatting animatedly with Akaashi at how excited he was to finally be able to perform live since Sakusa was the only one with stage experience. Akaashi smiled at his words, always nodding encouragingly no matter how fast the other was speaking and always managing to keep up with his banter. Sakusa thought it was a miracle that Akaashi could even stick together with him.

Atsumu had slunk off somewhere after the rehearsal, his red guitar propped up against the wall as Sakusa checked his watch. The place was becoming more full by the minute as people began to come in, all of them excited to listen to the bands playing that night. The Black Jackals were new to the scene so they didn’t have too much pressure to perform well sitting on their shoulders.

“Where the heck is he? He’s taking way too long for a dump,” Sakusa growled as he gave up checking his watch. The first band had started to move onto the stage and Bokuto was already starting to go off with Akaashi to wait in the backstage. When Atsumu didn’t appear, Sakusa groaned as he moved to walk to the backstage, praying the other would even be there when he saw a body curled up into a ball at the stairs leading to the stage.

“Atsumu?”

Atsumu was curled up, rocking front and back as he whispered to himself. The boy looked as pale as a ghost as he muttered something to himself, his words moving past Sakusa’s ears as he knelt down next to him. When he turned to get a better look at his face, Sakusa saw that he was trying to hard not to cry.

“I don’t know if I can do this, Omi omi. I don’t know… do I even deserve to do something like this when Shouyou isn’t here?”

Hinata Shouyou. While Sakusa had never met him, judging from the videos he had managed to glean from the internet of their volleyball games, the other boy wouldn’t be someone who would want Atsumu to be like that. Sakusa gulped, trying his best to look and sound as positive as he could get, so he said what he felt as honestly as he could as he reached to put reach a hand out to Atsumu.

While he hated the nickname Omi omi, he wished Atsumu would call it out more to him in a more intimate matter.

“Hinata wouldn’t want you to be suffering like this. He would want you to be happy. Come on, its rude to keep Bokuto and Akaashi waiting.”

Sakusa didn’t know if he said the right words but it seemed to do the trick as Atsumu looked up at him, his eyes glassy as he looked at Sakusa’s hand before smirking, “I thought you hated touching.”

“Test my patience and I might leave you here to rot for eternity.”

“Rude!”

Despite how much Atsumu irritates him, Sakusa couldn’t help but wished he would continue to do so for years to come.

…

The song that poured from Atsumu’s lips made Sakusa’s heart and mind nearly come to a numbing halt. As his voice carried across the room, his eyes closed to the world around him, Sakusa could almost make out the world that Atsumu had painted in his song as he tried to catch up to his tune.

Just like the shade of snow  
That hasn't completely melted  
I continue on with these feelings inside me  
Hey, with what words  
Should I close the door on this love?

_Sakusa could see Hinata Shouyou running before his eyes, his grin wide as he spiked a ball across the court that Atsumu had set. Sakusa’s heart jumped at the smile that crossed the other boy’s face, lighting up the world as the crowd cheered for their victory._

_Sakusa could see Hinata and Atsumu hand in hand, Atsumu laughing at Hinata chatting animatedly to him as they walked down the road. He could imagine them walking down a road, the sun setting behind them as Atsumu bent to give Hinata peck on the lips to tell him he loved him as Hinata whispered it back to him._ _  
  
_

  
Your everything has lost its tomorrow  
And now is wandering around eternally  
Along with me  
Who was unable to say goodbye or move on

_The sound of sirens filled Sakusa’s ears as a girl’s wail filled the air. Hinata was lying on a stretcher, his body battered beyond recognition as his sister stayed by his side, begging for him to come back._

_Even in death, his face still remained in a smile._

_Atsumu stood next to his lover’s body, his hand reaching out to touch cold skin before he collapsed to his knees. As his howls echoed off the walls and his lips trailed over cold skin, it would never bring him back no matter how much he tried._

_“Shouyou… why… why… why did you leave me?”_

Just like a spell that still won't break  
Or some kind of curse  
I'm still holding on to some heavy baggage  
Hey, what kind of tomorrow  
Am I supposed to look for in this town?  
Ah...

_Atsumu lay in a heap in his room, the blanket thrown over his head as the sound of the door banging rang out._

_“Atsumu, please dear. You need to come out.”_

_“No… I don’t deserve to live. Not after what I did to Shouyou.”_

_There was a slamming sound as the door broke down to reveal Osamu Miya, his identical twin as he stepped into the room and ripped the blanket off his brother’s head. Atsumu didn’t even flinch as his brother grabbed him by the collar and yelled in his face, their parents watching from the door as their eldest son yelled, “Do you think Shouyou would want you to be like this? You think he would actually be happy if you try to take your own life by hiding yourself from the world or starving yourself?! Tsumu, answer me dammit!”_

_Atsumu could only stare at the ground, unable to look at his twin in the eye as he blocked out the sound of Shouyou’s name bringing memories to his mind. He wanted to forget it all, wanted to forget the sun that was no longer shining in his world._

_He wanted to forget it all._

_“Osamu, I’m leaving volleyball and Inarizaki.”_

The cold tears that fall  
Freeze under the sky  
They pretend to be kind  
And around the time, they fall down my face  
Two people who were always together are torn apart  
That's all there is to this story

_Atsumu stood in front of a grave, the marble headstone nice and clean. A bucket with a scoop and towel stood at the side as Atsumu bent to place a bunch of sunflowers into the holder before clapping his hands together and bowing in prayer._

_“Watch me, Shouyou.”_

Why. Why was he seeing all of this? He wasn’t a part of Atsumu’s life. He had never know Hinata Shouyou and what it meant to Atsumu but now, it was as though he had walked by his side and experienced his pain all his life.

He wanted to reach out and hug Atsumu, to tell him he was no longer alone, that it was not his fault Hinata had died. He wanted to tear him away from the arrogant and rude façade that he put up to shield himself from the world, afraid he would hurt someone again.

He wanted Atsumu to lean on him, tell him everything about his past instead of keeping it to himself.

He wanted Atsumu to tell him it all in his own voice.

He wanted Atsumu to sing for him.

Even if your everything loses its shape one day  
You'll always be here within me  
As I try to move forward again  
Even though I couldn't say goodbye  
You'll always be here with me

Sakusa was brought back into the present with a slam, his eyes flying open as he realized that they were coming to an end of the song. His fingers danced across his guitar, his fingers aching from having played so hard as he looked at Atsumu. The other boy was sweating, his eyes barely open as he sang. His voice remained strong and true as he sang the words, the song cutting through Sakusa’s heart as it slowly came to an end. As Sakusa reached the end of the song, he could almost see a boy with orange hair standing at the back of the crowd, a smile on his face as he watched his lover playing on the stage.

The sound of the crowd erupting into applause was drowned out by the buzzing sound in Sakusa’s ears, his arm moving to sling across Atsumu before the boy could buckle to his knees. He didn’t think twice as his body moved off the stage, the two of them waking away even as Bokuto tried to stop them before having to distract the crowd.

“And that was our latest song composed by Kiyomi Sakusa and sung by Miya Atsumu entitled ‘The Fox and the Crow’!”

How Sakusa wished the song was meant for him and not for someone else.

“Thank you. For everything you have done for me.”

Shut up. Shut up or I’m going to burst.

Sakusa looked down at Atsumu through heavy eyes, his mind too dizzy to focus as he thought, “Hinata-san, you wouldn’t mind me kissing him, will you?”

As he thought the words, he felt himself moving forward as he leaned into Atsumu, who was in the middle of saying thank you. His lips collided with his and Sakusa tasted sweat and tears on Atsumu’s lips. When he pulled back from him, he heard a voice speaking in his mind, a smile on the boy’s lips as he grinned from ear to ear.

“Take care of him for me, will you?”

Sakusa internally thanked Hinata as he cupped Atsumu’s face, words leaving his mouth as he moved to go back onto the stage to join the others. As his fingers played a new song, he thought of the boy sitting out back, tears streaming down his face as he finally let out the feelings he had been holding in for so long and finally managed to express.

_Miya Atsumu. One day, I will make you sing a song about me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed this and check out my other stories on my profile! This is the first M/M story I have properly done and might do so in the future!

**Author's Note:**

> I am super sorry for killing Hinata off guys but I ship AtsuHina as well and wanted to incorporate that into the story so sorry again!
> 
> If this gets a lot of likes, I might actually do a chapter from Sakusa's POV for kicks.
> 
> Hope you guys liked this!
> 
> Please leave some kudos and comments! They really make my day!


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